Written by: Alan Stern, DDS
S.O.B. is a fun song by Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats. Of course, those three letters in the song refer to what I call the male offspring of a female dog.
For our purposes, however, SOB serves to attract attention to a universal need of all people—that is, a Sense of Belonging!
Brené Brown tells us that “man has an irreducible need for love and belonging.”
Crowley and Lodge, in their classic Younger Next Year, tell us that the keys to longevity and viability are diet, exercise, and social connectedness.
Seth Godin, in his book The Song of Significance, tells us that the one big thing we are all seeking is… (guess what!)
And my dear friend and co-learner, Joan Unterschuetz, has taught her community the concept of BQ — Belongingness Quotient!
Anthropologically, we are social and tribal in nature. Anything that keeps us apart is very destructive to our individual and collective psyche. Conversely, things that bring like-minded people together with a sense of community and some real significance will be life-enhancing and life-lengthening!
Even before COVID, our communication skills were becoming increasingly digitized and dehumanized. Technology has shape-shifted human communication, almost redefining the word talking from a voice-to-voice or eye-to-eye exchange of ideas to text or email sound bites—lacking context and inviting callous responses. We see this in almost all the places where we interact, and our offices are no exception. Great patient communication systems have become essential tools for all dental offices.
However, lest we sink further into psychological, cultural, and anthropological lows—which will be very hard to reverse—WE ALL NEED TO REGAIN OUR SOB AND BQ AND GIVE THEM TO OTHERS.
THE DENTAL OFFICE OPPORTUNITY TO ENHANCE LIVES… OURS AND THEIRS!
As great as the growing teledentistry trend is, people will always need to come into our offices for the care, skill, and judgment we’re all trained to provide.
A few thoughts for you on this:
- Give BQ and be an SOB for those you serve and those who serve with you. Your patients are scared. The SOB and BQ at many other healthcare offices are very low. Add a touch of loving-kindness to your routine. Address your patients by name at least three times when they visit you. Take a few extra minutes to listen to them. Empathize with them. Let your actions and your words show that you are with them in their quest for a better life and better health.
- Don’t forget your team. The people who work WITH you are also under a ton of stress and may not have an SOB outside your office or their operatories. Raise their BQ in the office. Let them know they are loved and valued.
- For the non-owner dentists, hygienists, administrators, and assistants: All of this applies to you as well. Owner docs are under more pressure now than ever before. Some of us have family and friends who are ill. All of us are feeling exactly what you are. Let kindness rule, and give your team leaders/employers the same SOB and BQ in your lives, too. Whether or not your employer is an SOB or a BQ-er, give them a strong SOB and BQ to make life better. That’s what we’re all here for, anyway.
- Join a study club. When I was in practice, my Seattle Study Club provided me with camaraderie, support, and a professional SOB and BQ. Study clubs will increase your confidence, decrease your sense of isolation, and provide some high-quality interaction with others who are dealing with the same issues as you are.
Find an SOB. Give an SOB. Be an SOB. And, of course… Enjoy the Ride!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Alan Stern, DDS, retired from clinical dentistry in 2023 and now operates Better, Richer, Stronger, LLC. He is a dental practice coach, keynote speaker, and author.
His book, Enjoy the Ride, is available on Amazon.
Join his Facebook group, strangely called Better, Richer, Stronger.
He can be reached at alan@betterricherstronger.com.
